Cruising with a Toddler (What No One Really Tells You)

We recently took a cruise with our toddler, and I’ve got thoughts. Lots of them.

Let’s start with this - it’s not a holiday in the way pre-kid holidays were. You’re still doing all the parenting, just on a boat with slightly more chips, slightly less phone reception, and a lot of waiting for the lifts.

Would I do it again? Yes. But would I do it differently? Probably not.

The Noise. Oh, the Noise.

Toddlers are loud. Like, really loud. And when you’re in a confined space with 3,000 people, your child’s every scream, laugh, or high-pitched whinge echoes off every surface. There’s no mute button, and noise-cancelling headphones don’t work when it’s your kid doing the yelling.

Tantrums and Buffets Don’t Mix

One word: timing. Do not - I repeat, do not - go near the buffet with a hangry toddler. There’s a good chance you’ll be lining up and circling for a table. Go early or bring snacks. Always.

The Pool Situation When Cruising With A Toddler

Here’s something they don’t shout from the rooftops - your toddler has to be fully toilet trained to go in the main pools. No swim nappies. No exceptions. If you’re mid-potty-training or nowhere near it, save yourself the tantrum and don’t even mention the pool.

Kids Club (Hit or Miss?)

Some kids love it. Ours lasted two minutes before melting down. Separation anxiety is real — and if that’s your toddler, don’t count on kids club being your big break. It’s worth a try, but don’t make it the main event.

Life on Board

• Coffee: It’s… fine. But not good enough for the level of exhaustion you’ll be running on.

• Entertainment: Some ships have great toddler-friendly music and craft sessions. Others, not so much. It really depends.

• Toys: Bring them. The lack of phone reception will hit hard when your toddler wants Blippi and there’s no WiFi.

• Lifts: Prepare to wait. And wait. And wait. Especially during mealtimes or port days.

• Bubbachinos & Ice Cream: Absolute lifesavers. Order one for them, get the real stuff for you, and find a sunny spot to breathe.

  
  

Tag-Teaming Evenings

We took turns going out at night while the other stayed in the cabin. It meant we both got some solo time to actually relax or at least pretend to. Highly recommend giving each other a night off.

The Best Part? The Staff

They were honestly so lovely with kids. High fives, smiles, extra chips, cheeky second ice creams — they made our toddler feel like royalty, which helped smooth over the chaos.

FAQs (The Real Ones)

Can toddlers go in the pool?

Only if fully toilet trained. No swim nappies allowed.

Is there enough to do for toddlers?

Depends on the ship. Some have great activities, others are more geared to older kids.

What’s the food situation like?

Toddler heaven (chips, pasta, fruit, ice cream), but don’t hit the buffet hangry. Ever.

What if my toddler hates kids club?

They might. Don’t rely on it. Have a backup plan.

Will I get any time off?

Maybe - if you plan for it. Take turns and set realistic expectations.

Cruising with a toddler is as relaxing as any holiday with a toddler can be, but it is memorable. You’ll get beautiful moments in between the chaos. Go in prepared, take lots of photos (even the tired, messy ones), and try to laugh when things don’t go to plan - because they probably won’t.

If you’ve cruised with a toddler, I’d love to hear your stories. The good, the bad, and the ‘why is she licking the floor?’